It is very important to re-evaluate you life from time to time. Too much comfort can lead to discomfort. There are things that we become comfortable with and things that we become blinded by. Things that we somehow close our eyes and ears to because we just don’t want to deal with it, or face it head on.
One can become blinded by love very easily. When we are in love, things that may not be normal to others, may be normal to you. Whether it is good or bad, we can get blinded by love.
For example, in my past, I had boyfriends that would treat me bad and disrespect me. In the beginning I knew that it was wrong, and that I didn’t deserve to be treated that way. But because I was “in love” (that’s what I thought it was at the time), I got used to it, I got comfortable with it, and it became normal to me.
When a person looks in from the outside, what they see is more than what you see or I should say, what you want to see. So many of my friends and family saw that he wasn’t the right person for me. They knew that the way he treated me was wrong, but I chose not to open my eyes to it because I was in love. Well, I had to learn the hard way… I wasted years of my life with someone who wasn’t worth it because I didn’t want to listen.
Whether it is a friend or an acquaintance, don’t be oblivious to what others say to you regarding your situation. Yes, I know, it is hard to have an open mind, especially when no one really know what is going on. But it is a good thing to allow others to tell you how it looks from the outside. I know that it is hard but if you put a bit of trust in their opinion, you may learn a thing or two.
People tend to get comfortable in relationships. Whether good or bad, people just tend to “put up with it” or “let it be” because it works… When relationship or marriages are going good, most of us don’t want change, because we are afraid it may cause a problem that was never there to begin with.
Have you ever thought, “what if we try something different?”
I am not saying to try anything crazy, what I mean is, spice things up, and try new adventures.
For example, my husband and I love spending quality time at home… Sometimes doing nothing at all except cuddle on the couch, and watch Netflix all day. We know it’s called being lazy but to us, this is a perfect day together. We can do this weekend after weekend, with no problems at all.
That’s where being comfortable kicks in… We don’t like getting too comfortable because that is when things become “regular”, “repetitious”, or become a “routine”. This is how things start to get boring.
We like to try new things that we haven’t done before or things we never thought we would ever be interested in doing. It helps with our marriage because it is a new adventure that we get to experience together.
For the ones who are in bad relationships…
Have you ever thought, “what if I find someone else who can actually make me happy?”, or “What if I become a better me without the person I am with now?”.
We all love feeling secure, we love knowing that we have someone to go home to (even when that person isn’t so nice), and we love the feeling of knowing that we are not alone.
Believe me, I am saying all of this out of experience. I have been through the ugly, so I get it.
Getting too comfortable can be dangerous. You may become someone you don’t want to be. You may become dependant on your significant other, and tend to forget that you are actually stronger on your own. You can also get too comfortable that you allow someone else to dictate your life.
People tend to get comfortable with a job too… Money comes in, bills get paid and life goes on… But don’t you want more? Don’t you want to earn more money? Pay off bills and be able to buy things in cash? Don’t you want to get promoted and move up to the next position?
Some people just get too comfortable that they are blind to see that there could be more. You end up finding yourself saying, “okay I only make $10 an hour, I am comfortable with my job, with my pay, with the people around me, my boss and my life.”
You may think that nothing is wrong with that, but with that kind of thinking, are you able to do something you thought you could never do? Like buy a house, put 10k as a down payment on a car without being broke right after? Are you able to NOT have to live paycheck to paycheck?
I know a ton a people who CANNOT do that. They are comfortable with the life they live. They are okay with living paycheck to paycheck, okay with never owning their own home, never being able to take a random trip to somewhere beautiful, without worrying about paying bills. It hurts my heart to see that because I know these people are capable of so much more.
I have been a victim of getting too comfortable at a job. I knew what I was doing, I liked my hours and I was comfortable. I didn’t need a job but having my own money and extra income coming in wasn’t so bad. I didn’t like my boss or my pay, and by the time you know it, two years had passed with no raise or no change. The only change that happened, was my plate got heavier. I recognized it and instead of just staying because I was “comfortable”, what did I do???? I left!
Don’t waste time, don’t waste your skills at places that don’t deserve you. Know your worth and others will see it too.
We all get comfortable with friends too. We give second chances when a friend messes up because we say, “but she has been my friend for so long” or “she really didn’t mean it though”.
We are sometimes blind to what is going on because either 1. we had one eye closed and the other eye half open or 2. we really had no clue of what was going on because we are blinded by friendship.
Another example, I have a friend who I knew for a very long time. A friend I trusted with my life but later on who I was betrayed by. A friend that I lost touch with for years and then got reacquainted with again. I am a victim of being comfortable with my friendships.
I give second chances. I open my heart to trust again and to forgive. I was comfortable with letting this person back into my life because the friendship was familiar to me.
In this case I had one eye closed and the other eye half open. I saw things that didn’t seem like what a friend would do or say, but again, I was blinded by friendship.
It took one particular incident for me to realize that this is it. That this is where I draw the line. I brought up all of my suspicions and the incidents to my husband and low and behold, he says, “well from the outside looking in, I could’ve told you that in the beginning, I saw it from day one”.
Remember in the beginning I mentioned how people on the outside may see things that you were blind to? Well here it is… I was open and receptive to what my husband’s observations were and after hearing what he had to say, I knew that something needed to be done.
I told myself, this is where it stops…….
I needed to re-evaluate my life again. When you take the time to re-evaluate your life, you will see things you might have missed before. Take a step back, take a moment and be that person who is looking at your life from the outside.
If the relationship is one sided, you don’t need it. If the friendship is one that you both can’t benefit from then whats the point. If there is nothing you both can gain from it, then it isn’t worth having.
Relationship and marriages, friendships and jobs are all situations that we can get too comfortable in.
Don’t be blind to what is really going on around you. I have been through all of it. The only reason I am able to talk about it now is because I did something about it.
That toxic relationship I was in, I walked away from.
That friendship that I had, I ended it.
And that job I had, I quit.
Re-evaluate your love, your friendships, your job…..
Re-evaluate your LIFE!
Cleanse your mind and your soul!