Not everyone can fully understand what we go through unless you live it or lived it. Military life is another world. They say that only the strong can survive it and I must agree. You must be strong in every sense. We need to be strong minded and have a strong heart to withstand the deployments, the moving, the constant change of information, the constant worrying, the sleepless nights, the long hours, and the distance between us when we are apart.
Before I got married, I never really understood what military life was all about. I have cousins who are in every branch, but I did not quite have to deal with what it all entailed until I married a Marine.
I had so much to learn, not only how it was to transition into married life, but how it was going to be to be married to a military man. My husband is very supportive. He taught me everything I needed to know the first year we were married. If I had any questions or concerns about anything throughout the years, he gladly answered and explained. They say when you marry a military man, you do not just marry the man of your dreams; you marry the military too, which is true.
The Marine Corps, for instance, runs our life, but my husband and I run our home. They tell us where we go and when we go. If you do not understand and cannot accept that this is the way your life will be, then you married the wrong person. I knew what I was getting myself into before I got married, which made it easier for me to transition.
We make many sacrifices. We have to move every 2-3 years. We never know if we get to stay in the same state or if we have to get ready to go to another. Every time we move, I have to look for a job and new friends all over again, we have to be away from our family, I have to understand that when they say they need him to deploy, I cannot say no. It is even harder for the families that have children. We do not have any and we do not plan on having any so luckily I do not have to worry too much about uprooting any kids. Not to mention, when they deploy, we have to worry about their safety and pray that they get home to us.
Their deployments are usually 6-9 months sometimes even 9-12 months long, so we do not get to kiss, hug, or hold them. They also have to train which sometimes takes them to another state for 6-8 weeks or longer, or they have to go out to the field to train which varies. As a wife, this is not normal, but as a military wife, it is our normal. I have always been a strong individual because of what I had to endure in my past, but when I became a military wife, I became even stronger.
Many of my friends do not understand why I do not make time for them. I often find myself explaining it over and over. They either get it or they don’t. Every time that I have to say bye to my husband when he leaves to train or to deploy, he puts himself in front of harm. Not just for me…. FOR YOU. FOR EVERY AMERICAN CITIZEN! I share my husband’s life with all of you, because I may lose him because of what he does for this country, but I get to keep the one thing he will never share with anyone else, his HEART!
If you are a new friend of mine, or an old friend of mine, I would like to help you understand why I do not go crazy for “time away from the husbands”, or “girls nights out” or “alone time” that most women or men say they need. It is because I have more than enough time away from my husband as is. I love my friends and my family but I love my husband more. He does so much for me and for this country.
I have had people literally ask me, “does he not let you go out?”, “does he make you stay home?”, “is he insecure?” or “do you not care about us enough to hang out with us too?” All of these questions to me, are ridiculous. In most cases, I literally let those type of people out of my life because those are ignorant questions to ask a military spouse. It is not because I don’t care, or that he is insecure (which there is not an ounce of insecurities this man has), or anything silly like that, it is merely because when he is away, that is when I take full advantage of spending quality time with my friends and family.
I get asked this questions all the time….”how do you do it?” or comments like “I don’t know how you do it!” My answer is always this:
Faith, trust, communication, love, respect, and loyalty is what you need in a military relationship. Our faith is what keeps us going. Our faith is what keep our marriage healthy. Our God is our foundation. Without foundation, our love would crumble.
I hope that this blog post opened up your eyes to what military families and spouses have to endure. Thank you for taking the time to read about the story of my life.
Thank you to all of our servicemen and servicewomen who fight to protect our country. Thank you to all of the families that support what they do. Thank you to all of you who understand and appreciate what we have to endure. We do not get enough of it, believe me, I know.
Gratitude is the best attitude!
Thanks for listening!
Disclaimer: The first photo was found on Pinterest and all other photos belong to JJ LIFE & STYLE