Support your spouse… 

Good morning everyone! Today I’d like to share my thoughts on supporting your spouse…  Often times I see a disconnect in couples who both have successful jobs and also on those who live off just one income. We all have to remember that when we get married,  we are now one team. The success you make in life is the success you both share.  Your job should not be more important than your marriage! After a long days work, you both come home to each other to lean on for support,  for strength,  for love, so why come home frustrated,  angry, tired and take it out on each other?

Being a military spouse comes with tons of sacrifices and having alot of support…for each other and from our friends and family.   Alot of military families forget that we have alot to be thankful for……i.e. free medical, no tax on purchases on base, guaranteed income, free travel etc. But yes we also have to sacrifice alot……i.e. moving around every 2-3 years, giving up friends we have met, giving up a job we were comfortable at, moving our children from school to school, being away from family, possibly losing our spouse in combat, long deployments etc.  I have met so many military spouses who don’t support each other 100% (mainly from the spouse that is not in the service). My opinion is, if you came into your spouse’s life in the middle of their career as a service man/woman then who are you to tell them to get out early, retire early or use that against them? They made a decision to protect our country before you came into the picture, you should’ve known what you were signing up for so let them make that decision on their own if they want out or not. At least that’s what I did!

When I met my husband,  he was already set on making this a career and explained to me what it comes with. I had alot to think about because I was a civilian and never experienced military life. I love this man so much that I agreed to never ask him to retire early or get out early for the sake of me being selfish.  The only way he was getting out was if they kick him out or he retired at his 30 year mark. I must say there are many times I have complained and bitched about him having to leave me over and over again for training, for deployments overseas or just because I was scared to lose him in combat. Never have I asked or forced him to get out. When you are with someone before they enlist, it’s the same thing as meeting someone who has already been in. You need to understand what it is you are getting into whether you are a girlfriend, a spouse or the one who is enlisting yourself to protect our country. Most military wives stay at home to care for their children, living off of one income.  I see alot of wives, mostly younger wives who get pregnant right away then complain that they have to raise their children on their own because their spouse is always away (fighting for our freedom and our rights). Then they force their spouse to get out early or refuses to encourage them to re enlist for their own selfish reasons. Their spouse ends up resenting them and they end up struggling to find a way to financially make things work. They end up being so miserable and hating you for it. Many military marriages end that way and I refuse to have mine go downhill like that. Don’t get me wrong, there are some who get out and things work out for the better and life is great. I just don’t have a handful of people I know that rave about getting out.

Support each other and have faith that God put you two together for a reason. Find the strength you have within you to make it work. Sit down, discuss issues and concerns,  goals and dreams TOGETHER! DON’T  lose track of the unconditional love you once had in the beginning, that love that made you want to spend the rest of your lives together. Love the life you live and the lifestyle you chose. Compromise and meet in the middle! It takes a strong person to live this military lifestyle. Support your spouse no matter what and SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!

Thanks for listening!


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